I am not going to lie.
I am defensive about my neurological imbalance.
It is actually quite easy to “police” or “monitor” my behaviors and my personality and my mood because I have actually been to the doctor and have been diagnosed with a big, scary word called “bipolar.”
It is easy to not separate the girl from the “disorder” in one’s mind. (Even in my own mind. It is hard not to take the label of “bipolar” on like a colorful forehead tattoo. It is hard to separate myself from my diagnosis.)
I have a confession to make. This whole Bipolar thing is HARD.
I have to lay down my own will every single day.
When people question how much I’ve been sleeping when they themselves haven’t been sleeping very often, when they question my eating habits while they are eating donuts, when they look at me sideways because my mood goes up and down (like theirs does not), it is HARD for me not to get defensive.
I am working on it.
But it is the hardest thing I have ever done, to be honest, to remain calm and not get frustrated or defensive when some people seem to question my every move (whether or not it’s out of care for me.)
Take care of yourself, and before you question my own life choices, make sure yours are in check as well.
Just being real with y’all. I am a flawed human being and I am sick of feeling like I need to “prove” to you that I am “back to normal.”
That is the struggle of bipolar disorder. (one of the many.)
HAVE A GREAT DAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY