Confession Time: Crossing Boundaries

Confession time.

(Yes I suppose my blog is my confessional.

That’s bizarre isn’t it?

I don’t get myself sometimes,

but I do what I have to do to stay at peace.

I cannot afford not to, y’all.)

Honestly I am tired.

I have been going so hard (mind, body, and soul)

for so long.

But you know what?  That is my choice.

I have realized something about boundaries lately.

I stink at them.

I thought they were hurtful.

For personal reasons, what people call their “boundaries” have actually been very hurtful for me.

Let me tell you a secret.

Are you listening?

Some people use their “boundaries” to manipulate other people.

Did you know that?  Did you hear me?  Let me say it again.

Some people

use their so-called

“boundaries” to

manipulate people.

So of course I have had a negative association with boundaries.

I have been abused in every way, silenced, and told to shut my mouth and keep other peoples’ secrets for them because they put a “boundary” up for me.  Some people have literally told me, “The fact that I abused you isn’t my problem, it is yours.  I will no longer discuss this.  I am going to sleep.”

So yeah.  I have a negative association with boundaries because they have been used to silence me for years.

The misuse of “boundaries” have made me feel like an outcast in many circles.  Even in my closest relationships.

GUESS WHAT THOUGH.

I’m not taking it anymore.

There’s my boundary.

And it is a LIFE GIVING boundary for me

and it is a LIFE GIVING boundary for others,

because I am clear about it.

I will choose not to relate with people if have evidence to believe you are hiding behind your boundaries or you are not respecting mine. Period.

I refuse to do that to the people in my life.  But I will respect peoples’ boundaries if they make sense to me and are communicated to me in detail.

(If you do not want to give me a

reason for the

relational boundary,

I will not even

know it is there.)

Boundaries are only for your own protection.

They can be very life giving.

But I cannot trust that every single human is blameless just because they call the “boundary card.”

I call bullshit.

Have a good dayyyyyyyy!!!!!

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