Thoughts from the Desk of an Ambivert (Dear Intro/Extro-verts)

“Stop trying to make fetch happen.

It’s never going to happen.”

-Regina George

We all want to know how we operate.

There’s nothing wrong with that.

(I’ve taken the Myers-Briggs test multiple times in the past 9 years.  Have you ever been confused by those things? I’m an ENFP for one test and an INFJ for another, and some stages of my life my Extroversion takes precedence, and others, my Introversion comes into play more often.  Other times it’s more situational.  Hence the term of Ambivert  For more on Ambiverts click here.)

Anyways, I wanted to get candid with you guys for a second.  You may hate me after you read this, but I feel like someone needs to say this:

I have seen introverts and extroverts fighting to validate their own modes of living through categorizing themselves, and clique-ing up with other people in their determined “vert”-ism clique.

You {low-key} think your “vert”ism is better.

Better than their “vert”ism.

Extroverts, you think everyone should be friendly, and don’t understand when introverts need so much space.  You say introverts are locked up and unwilling to budge and uninterruptible and unaware of your needs.

Introverts, you think everyone should be smart, and you don’t understand when extroverts need so much conversation.  You say extroverts are invasive and too much and rude and ignorant to your needs.

We get it.

But listen.  Come a little closer so I can whisper (whispering makes extroverts feel included into a secret club and it is also close to silence, which introverts tend to worship.)

——-> [ Your “vert”-ism isn’t better. ]   <——-

The fact that you are an Intro or an Extro

is beautiful, yes.

it’s interesting, absolutely.

it’s helpful to know how you operate

so we can get to know you better.

But here is what your “vert”-ism is not:

Your “vert”-ism is not an excuse to stay comfortable.

It does not excuse you from challenging yourself

and growing the eff up.

Your “vert”-ism is not another label to slap on your forehead to

group you or tribe you up with other elitists.

Your “vert”-ism is not a “get out of conflict free” card.

It is a tool.  A means to an end.  The labels you choose to put on yourself are ultimately for no one else’s benefit but your own.

What scientific experiment did you conduct on yourself to come to the conclusion that you are either introverted or extroverted?  What do you know about the scientist who actually came up with these terms?  What are you even labeling yourself as?  What are the actual definitions of introverts and extroverts?  None of this stuff is actually scientifically quantifiable, so isn’t there is a chance you could be labeling yourself the wrong way?

I’m not saying that you are not an introvert or that you are not an extrovert.

I’m just asking you to question the labels you are so quick to slap onto your identity or the identity of other unsuspecting victims of your judgements.

I’m asking you to consider that your “ism,” whatever that may be, is not your identity.

What if you stopped stuffing yourself into neatly stacked boxes in your mind?

What if you rejected categorizing the world inside of you and the world around you?

What would start to happen in your life?

What if we made Carl Jung proud?

Just wondering.

Have a great dayyyyyyyy!!!!!


  1. Yes and amen! It is a tool to help us better understand ourselves and others, not a definition. That’s why I like that Meyers Briggs is on a spectrum as well. Don’t box me in!

  2. I constantly flip between INFJ and ENFP. I personally think that my core is ENFP, but adulthood has kinda forced me to re-energize via solitude and get my shit together in an organized way so my water bill gets paid and my roommates don’t hate me. When it comes down to it, though, It doesn’t effing matter. MBTI is a fun way to understand certain variables of my personality… but the second I hear someone pathologizing other “types”– as though it was a medical diagnosis rather than a psychological litmus strip– I’m out. When I look back and survey my life over the long-term, I can only conclude that personalities are too fluid to pin down. So I’ll take my ENFP/INFJ. I’ll talk out loud to myself because I need to verbally process even though I don’t want to share my inner world with anyone because my mind is mine and I don’t need other people here with me in my head. And then I’ll meticulously organize my sock drawer and color-coordinate my shoes according to different grains of leather while I hoard cups and ignore my work e-mails for 8 days in a row. IT’S OKAY. I like me. I’m cool with me.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s